#notpronouncedtoes #6

New Work

By Nathan Dueck 

Parliamentary Activity of the Honourable @TwoVices:

The big business of a conservative-minded Minister of Public Safety is my job; minding your business as the big-C Conservative minister of pubic safety is my passion.

03:14:15 AM June 2, 2013


Please RT to join my movement to rename the #CPC ‘caucus’ to something less gay-friendly. How does #Tory ‘orgy’ grab ya, fellas?

92:65:35 PM June 2, 2013

Proud to stand with @PMHarper & call for Senate reform. Of course, I’ve been standing with him since 2007, so I think it’s time to take a seat & take a load off.


Early in 1995, @PMHarper read a headline in Frank Magazine, ‘Mike Duffy: Fat-Faced Liar,’ & decided right then & there to nominate a great man to the Senate one day! (1/2)

89:79:32 PM June 3, 2013


When that day finally came, on 22 Dec 2008, @PMHarper also appointed Senator Pamela Wallin, a great woman who sued @Frank_Mag for defamation — just like the #Puffster did! (2/2)

38:46:26 AM June 3, 2013


Nominate Don Cherry for Poet Laureate of Cda! His best line of all: ‘Rob Ford’s gonna be the greatest mayor Toronto’s ever seen. Put that in your pipe & smoke it ya left-wing kooks!’



Because facts are notorious for having a #Liberal bias, I know enough to read @SunNewsNetwork. @EzraLevant is notorious for ignoring facts altogether. #BigCConservative



Today, I’ll be swapping Twitter accounts with @EzraLevant of @SunNewsNetwork to remind his followers what Big-C Conservative @ToewsVic knows. #TwitSwap

43:38:32 PM June 13, 2013


Big-C Conservative @ToewsVic knows that news stories should read like far-Right editorials, & editorials should read like even-further-Right news stories! #CRTC #HardNews

79:50:28 AM June 13, 2013


RT @EzraLevant: Dear #CRTC, @SunNewsNetwork put the hedonistic par-TAY in partisan political coverage! #TwitSwap



Big-C Conservative @ToewsVic knows that headlines should tell readers what to fear & hate. Fear: Corporate regulation! Environmental protection! Rights legislation! Hate: #CRTC #EC #CBC

20:97:49 AM June 13, 2013


RT @EzraLevant: For a so-called GREEN organization, #EC doesn’t seem to know as much as @SunNewsNetwork about the colour of $ from #EthicalOil lobbies! #TwitSwap



Big-C Conservative @ToewsVic knows that a couple Sunshine girls kissing is hawt, but two lesbians vowing love & fidelity to each other is nawt! #CBC #StraightTalk

44:59:23 AM June 13, 2013


RT @EzraLevant: The #CBC #GovernmentJournalists want you to believe Cdns have quote-unquote ‘human rights.’ @SunNewsNetwork is all the RIGHT Cdns can handle! #TwitSwap



Let’s set the record straight on #FathersDay: as a faithful #CPC MP, I believe in trad. marriage, incl. trad. divorce proceedings, trad. alimony payments, & trad. child visitation rights.

06:28:62 AM June 16, 2013


Is it wrong that I feel a lil’ tickle in the pants when I block people who tweet with emoticons? #NoEmo

28:03:48 PM June 24, 2013


To all my touchy followers offended by the last tweet — don’t take it so hard. It’s not like I can make it that hard, anyway! ;) #Emoticonservatives

17:06:79 AM June 24, 2013

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Nathan Dueck

The last two letters of nathan dueck's first name & the first letter of his last spell “and.” Only he prefers writing it “&.” He's the author of king's(mère) (Turnstone, 2004) and he’ll (Pedlar, 2014). & he tweets @nathandueck.