#notpronouncedtoes #3

New Work

By Nathan Dueck

Parliamentary Activity of the Honourable @evictsow:

Dr. Flanagan knows a few lonely #nambla members who look at child pornography the very same way I appreciate Monet http://youtu.be/LqS4qKkE_SY

1:01:00:11 PM March 1, 2013


RT @pmharper: Tom Flanagan informed my politics, not my ethics. #cpc doesn’t condone wearing fur on #cbc http://t.co/vyyBpOJt #sasquatchrevealed

0:11:00:00 PM January 30, 2013


Dr. Tom Flanagan: you’ll soon retire from @ucalgary, & you were fired by @pmharper, @teamwildrose, & #cbc. Willing to try your hand at Pope?

1:01:00:11 PM March 1, 2013


Cheers @russellcrowe! Authentic accent! Jeers @realhughjackman! Learn le francais, Aussie! What would #javert do? #lesmiz #toewsraves

0:11:00:00 PM March 15, 2013


411, perps! If you plan to steal so much as a loaf of bread, be advised that I just authorized every last #mountie to go #javert on your @55 #wwjd

1:01:00:11 PM March 15, 2013


We could eliminate organized crime in Cda if the #rcmp was allowed to incarcerate the #senate http://bit.ly/Z73CxM #cdnpoli #funfact

0:11:00:00 PM March 16, 2013


OTOH, we could eliminate organized crime in Cda if the #senate was allowed to dismiss the #rcmp http://bit.ly/WUjZ00 #cpc #funnerfact

1:01:00:11 PM March 16, 2013


Happy #stpatricksday to each Protestant imbibing at this moment #paddy #wagonsho

0:11:00:00 PM March 17, 2013


Well, look who’s a teenager! Thirteen years ago today the Canadian Conservative Reform Alliance Party came into being! #ccrap #acronym #acrimony

1:01:00:11 PM March 27, 2013


I’d sure love to #pound the trendy teen hipster so-&-so who named the # symbol a #hash. Know what I #meme? You w/ #meme, mona #meme? #fail

0:11:00:00 PM March 27, 2013


Today I’ll reconcile the inequities of incarceration in Cda. Our penal system cannot ignore the plight of prisoners w/ mental illness. . . .

1:01:00:11 PM March 29, 2013


No Cdn in jail should ever consider suicide, even 4 a moment. J/K, I’m chillin’ in #fruitofthelooms, watchin’ #veggietales, & chewin’ #frootloops

0:11:00:00 PM March 29, 2013


If you have any leads on #hashish, #hashoil, or #marijuana cigarettes in the greater Ottawa area, DM me w/ deets si’l vous plait.

04:20:00 PM March 31, 2013


  1. graison swaan
    Posted March 4, 2013 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    Tweets from the future! Genius!

    • #notpronouncedtoes
      Posted March 9, 2013 at 4:29 pm | Permalink

      Forsooth, I knew you would say that, dear commenter. For I am a soothsayer!

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Nathan Dueck

The last two letters of nathan dueck's first name & the first letter of his last spell “and.” Only he prefers writing it “&.” He's the author of king's(mère) (Turnstone, 2004) and he’ll (Pedlar, 2014). & he tweets @nathandueck.